Saturday 25 June 2011

Surgery done

So I don't feel like I thought I would.  It is nowhere near as sore - the drains are the worst - and it doesn't look like what I was expecting (I'll post a pic, just warning you all!).  The worst part of the whole process (not counting breastfeeding stuff of course) has been making myself come and do.  It is the hardest thing I've ever done, to get into the car and turn up at the hospital.  Every nerve was screaming at me to just turn around and run off, it'll be fine, it's just a bad dream, it's not real, it'll go away by itself.  To physically pack a bag and come is unbelievably hard and we had to force ourselves to do it.  Gritted teeth and everything.

but now it's done and it's not so bad.  It's sad to not have Bastian in bed with me but the morphine and the drains make it not right, Daniel is the dream dad jiggling him all night and then passing him to me for a cuddle then back to more jiggling, his burst eardrum and 2 new teeth not exactly timed well.  Everyone was unsettled except the big boys who hung out with Grandma and Grandad and their Aunties and had a nice time.  Their first night away from us so that was worrying too, but of course they were fine.

And our first package arrived up here, waiting in our room for us - frozen and glorious a box of milk for our boy.  I feel panic coming on as I worry about him, we have been trying to get him to eat food in the day and have breastmilk only at night, but this transition should take weeks and months - not days.  He will eat if he's hungry enough I know, but what kind of an introduction to the fantastic world of taste and texture is that?  So thank-you again to those wonderful women who have made - and are making - this journey as easy as possible :-)


Here is the pic, the day after surgery.  Mum thinks I look just like I did when I was 12 (obviously I had nipples and a smaller puku then!)

19 comments:

  1. Well done Jaynie for getting into the car, turning up at the hospital and everything else you achieved that day. My absolute heartfelt wishes and love go out to you all. Kia kaha.

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  2. We've been thinking about you all day! So happy the surgery is over and you are ok. So are just amazing! We are sending healing prayers and thoughts your way for a complete and speedy recovery! Much love, Chris

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  3. I think you are amazing....You have courage. Sending best wishes to you and yours. Megan

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  4. Hope everything heals up fast and that you are not too uncomfortable. Sending love your way xxx

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  5. Gosh the scar looks really good...thanks for demystifying the process! You are amazing. Thinking of you lots. Tara xx

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  6. Hi, I have been reading your story over the past few days and have to say I admire your courage and strength, you are an inspiration. You have reminded me that breastfeeding is a precious gift that I will not take for granted. Sending you positive healing thoughts.

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  7. I send you love and support and many healing vibes. My heart goes out to you. <3

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  8. Just thinking of you and wondering how you have all coped this weekend? I hope it has been much more stress-free than you anticipated, that the bubs are all doing well and that you are starting the healing process (physicaly and emotionally) and getting lots of rest. Xx

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  9. Karin Lindroth26 June 2011 at 21:34

    Our whole family have been thinking of you and your boys. Look after your self and rest. I'll make sure I get some milk to the right place asap. Lots of love! Karin

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  10. Nice jammies!! ;) You are incredible, inspirational and beautiful. Rest up and take care of yourself, sending you all the positivity and love I can get my hands on xo

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  11. Hi dear jaynie. I have been thinking of you constantly. Am home again and have just read your blog.....you are strong and you are such a fine example of woman-power-in-action. Your boys will be fine Jaynie because they have been blessed with such amazing mothering from you. My love to you. See you soon. Sue B xxxxx

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  12. have been thinking about you. You are a strong and amazing woman. Sending you (gentle) hugs. Rest well and let the healing begin.

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  13. You are amazing.
    Enough said

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  14. My ex-partner and best friend in the world died of cancer in April 2009. It started anonymously enough with a phone call to me in the middle of the night and then I was coming home from New York to nurse her for the last weeks of her life.
    We had 39 days together.
    I miss her everyday even though we'd been apart for 2 years and reading some of this brings her and it back to me.
    I hope your road is long and even if in part it will be painful, I implore you, make the best of your days and love them one by one.
    Best wishes from afar.

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  15. i have just read from your start to this post, with sad eyes the whole way, reading your post of your last feed filled my eyes and out the tears came... you are one brave strong women:) If i could help out i would but sadly my son stopped bfing 14mths ago at 4 mths old:(.

    Glad to hear its been caught and dealt with so you can be around for your wonderful children and hubby:)

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  16. Thought about you all day Friday, still thinking about you now. Hope those nasty drains are out soon and you can hug those boys closer.xx Charlotte

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  17. Hi Jaynie! You are soo strong! I'm thinking of you. I have just emailed Kim about some breast milk if you still need it. I would love for my milk to go to someone in need rather than in the bin. <3 Steph xxx

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  18. Your blog rocks!!! I have been thinking of you everyday and hoping that things are improving for you. Mum and Grumpy Poppa send their love too. You are an amazing woman and I will forever be indebted to you and Justine for your amazing care of me and my family when our little man passed away. Sooo please remember...if there is anything I can do just let me know PLEASE! All our love to you and your beautiful family. Ally, Hemi and Paige xxx PS...Boston's watching and will keep you safe..I know it! xx

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