I'm back...

Bastian smashed the lcd screen on the computer and it has taken a good two weeks to get it fixed, what a drama.

Daniel has gone away, come back and then gone away again.  He left on Sunday for 4 weeks and won't be back forever and god do I miss him so much.  Mum has come up and spent ages organizing her flights around the chemo but then they moved it a week out so she won't be here for round 3 which really really sucks.

So where was I up to? Oh yeah, that's right, I didn't buy jeans....

So Friday was the big day, Saturday was not so bad with a bit of nausea but nothing unmanagable, but Sunday was a treasure.  Daniel flew out at 7 o'clock in the morning and I went to Pip's for breakfast and a birthday party (bless her and her lot for taking me on :-) ).  I was sent to bed and had the most disgusting nausea for most of the day. Like being really really hungover and pregnant all at once - awesome.  Settled down over the next few days and after about 5 days I was just tired.

Went to the Cirque du Soleil in Auckland with Mum on day 10ish and had a lovely time but I had the sorest tummy for the whole next day back.  Did I mention I had the runs for 2 weeks following the chemo.  And I got my period halfway through all this?  Just fantastic.  Bloods were great so I didn't need to be too anal about touching poxy eftpos machines and supermarket trolleys, but was anyway....

Then jsut as you start to feel normal and jsut tired again, off you go for another turn.  And you'd think it would get easier - but you'd be wrong.  Same deal as last time.  Ok and sucking back rescue rememdy unitl they go to put that bright red poison into me and I lose the plot.  I'm talking ugly face crying here - snot and drool and and open mouth and heaving and hyperventilating.  None of this quiet sobbing business for me.  There were 3 older men in the room and it just happened that all their partners had wandered off, I'm sure they were incredibly uncomfortable but just watched in horror as I dehydrated myself right there in front of them.  After I had got myself together I was a subdued blob trying to chameleon myself into my uncomfortable armchair.  But after a few lollies I perked up a little :-)

So that was Thursday, and today is Saturday.  They have changed me from domperidone to stemetil (dom never worked when I was preg either) and I am not nearly as nauseous although the thought of eating anything is enough to make me want to spew.  I just had to give myself my subcut injection of the gcsf - never had to inject myself before and it's a good thing I'm not diabetic, I think physio ;-) could do it better - boy was that a treat.  Just feeling really seedy now.

Hair Update:
I am not yet bald but getting pretty thin.  The nurses were really suprised that I had any at all.  Legs, eyebrows/lashes etc all still normal.  Pubes and armpits have slowly declared themselves as on the move but don't seem to be in a hurry.  Lots of people have asked/suggested re shaving my head.  But anyone who knows me won't be suprised to learn that I will not be shaving my head just to make other people feel more comfortable about my cancer - I don't give two tosses how it looks :-)  Besides, i'm only doing this once so I want to see how it happens!

thanks so much to everyone for their support and energy - there are some unbelievably generous people out there :-)