Still no results from the bone scan or the nodes..........
I had a phone call from my mum the other day who said she was talking to our cousin's husband. My cousin died of breast cancer in her early 30's. It seemed to happen really quickly for her, and this has been something I have desperately been trying not to think of. The last thing i need is only a year for ballpark survival. She had 4 kids and her youngest was only a baby - it was very very sad.
So he called and spoke to Mum and obviously he was really gutted. But after talking to him Mum discovered that hers was definately a hormone driven one and by the sounds of it maybe HER2 positive. This was about 8 or 9 years ago, so the testing and of course Herceptin were not available as readily as now. I cried. I never realised that this was so worrying to me - to know that hers was different to mine means I won't follow her same path. But most importantly it may increase the likelihood that I am one of the very small group of non-BRCA gene related triple negative cancers. The idea that my sisters and mother may have to come to a decision about their own breasts is frightening. Two of my sisters have very young children and just starting on their families and the other is 21 and not yet begun. We are all breastfeeders and formula is not contemplated at all. To not have them have to do what I have done and am going to do is all I wish for. And to worry that my own children may have to seriously contemplate their own fertility later in life is mortifying. How do you tell your children as they grow that they may need to choose a family vs a 'just in case' situation.
Look at your children and love their perfection, in case you ever find the plan is not what you imagined.
Bastian is taking the bottle ok. When he is tired or hurt he still nuzzles and cries and then of course so do I. but eventually he gives in and takes it. The other times in the day he seems to be fine. He doesn't seem to worry about the taste at all - in fact once he gets going he guzzles it down. Imagine what a fantastic passive immunity he has - there'd be nothing like it! I am still in awe of the wonderful women who have given and are giving Bastian milk. And I am wanting to share a link with you from one of the wonderful women who offered - http://youtu.be/Wu11se4Pof8
Just to let you know Steph that you are the one who is an inspiration, and thank-you so so very much for your offer - we are honoured.