Friday, 31 August 2012

Starting to poison myself again

We started tonight with capecitabine.  Chemo again.  More poisonous crap inside me, more 'preciousness' and feeling like arse. 

What a horrible place to find myself visiting again.  I thought that I had come to grips with the fact that I had done it already and so again was just an extension of that time.  Nope.  Wrong.  It's a whole new maze of confusion and tears to negotiate.

I just don't know how to come to terms with the fact that I am dumping this stuff into myself.

9 comments:

  1. so sorry you are going through this again. Praying for your healing, and for comfort for you and your family.

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  2. Be gentle and kind to yourself, you are doing you best for you and your family!!

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  3. You are an AMAZING fighter, and this is the long, long haul. Fill every cell of yours with love till it's flowing over, and if there's help that love and prayers from me can be, they're with you, you brave, brave woman.

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  4. You are doing what you have to do. You are using everything within your power to be able to watch your beautiful children grown up! I have been on a similar journey and we do what we can. Be gentle on yourself. You are doing this all for love!!

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  5. Thinking about you and hoping you are ok. Your NorCal peeps.

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  6. So, just stumbled upon your blog from the Birthing Site post on facebook. You are AMAZING!!
    I just found out my best friend has stage 2 breast cancer, and I moved a year ago away from her, and I am now trying to get back to visit her. Long story short, I have a nursing 4 month old, non-vaxed beautiful boy that I will be traveling with. I hadn't though of it until recently how the chemo/radiation may affect him, or if will at all. Will she just not be able to hold him?? Sorry if they sound like stupid questions, but of course I am trying to look out for him, and be able to be there for her as well. Any info would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks, and you really are an inspiration to women everywhere!!
    Bethany

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  8. Cured of TNBC!
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